It's Simply Just Not Meant To Be

The next vlog I was going to write about, under this title, was going to be about my horrible luck with these Fijian pets. As many of you know, I have had over 9 cats and 2 puppies while living in Fiji. One of the many excitements that I had, coming into this service, besides living on my own, was finally being able to own a kitty. Over the years, this passion of mine grew, and it continued to grow. Until I learned that having a cat in Fiji was not reasonable.

All my cats have either run away and never come back. Others I gave away because they constantly peed everywhere. Others, unfortunately, would pass away either from old age or from being killed by dogs. The disappointment and disillusionment that I have experienced from this constant heartbreak have been tremendous. However, what has helped me recover from this sadness is knowing that I never got attached to them. If I had, when the time to return to the States came, that would have been another heartache.

At the moment, I have a pup whose name is Mocha Brownie. She is brown, hence the Brownie part. Now, Mocha. The first time I carried her and smelled her, she smelled like coffee. She has grown into an excited pup who loves to bite lol. When I leave, my friend Van, her auntie, will adopt her.

Now that I have shared the vlog that was supposed to carry out this name, let me tell you what this one is going to truly be about. This one is, you guessed it, another venting vlog. I need to vent because just when I think everything is falling apart, and I am lost and confused, I am hit with a reality. A beautiful reality of God’s answered prayers. And of course, in the moment it was hard to see it, but the more that I pray, the clearer it gets.

Let’s take it back to last vlog, where I talked about my previous relationships. To sum it up, I have been through many changes thanks to all the trauma that I have been exposed to. I have been single for years, kid you not, yearsssssssss. Of course, through all that time, I have healed and learned so much more about myself. I have learned what I needed to improve, versus what was out of my control. I learned that I needed reinforcements outside of what I knew and who I knew. I learned that I needed Jesus. Who PULLED through in all stops! Thank you, Lord.

Now, after all this time, the idea of a relationship always sounded enticing. The idea of being loved, in an earthly way, was always breathing down my neck. I looked for love. I downloaded the apps. Went on some dates, then erased them when I learned that I wasn’t ready. Re-downloaded them again when I thought I was and re-erased them again. This cycle happened a few times.

Fast forward to Fiji… the lack of connection was felt extremely. I re-downloaded Hinge when I went to New Zealand with my friends back in September 2025 because I felt like I needed to get back out there. Now you must be saying, “Girl, be for real, your hubby is not in New Zealand.” Well, at the time I was thinking, “Well, he might be. Who knows what God is planning?” Well, CLEARLY HE DID. I went on a date, which turned out to be nice. Did I meet my hubby? No. After I returned back to Fiji, I erased the app again.

Through my bible studies and my constant prayers with God, I prayed daily to become the woman that God needs me to be. To continue to harvest the fruits of His Spirit that I need in order to be a good wife and a faithful servant to His kingdom. To be turned into the light and joy that the world desperately needs in order for it to turn away from its darkness. Hours and hours of study and prayers, trying to ready myself for the next season in my life that I absolutely crave and desire with all my heart.

And so, I felt ready again to get back in the apps. I was going to Australia in June and figured I should download Hinge again to see if my hubby was there. Spoiler: He was not there. You know who was there? Jesus. He was there through rejection and disappointment.

Let me rewind for a little bit. The past month, I had been traveling like crazy. I went from Fiji to Aruba, back to Fiji, and then to Australia. Constant layovers and insane amounts of flight delays later, I made it.

Aruba was beautiful. My sister and her now fiancé got engaged. It was a privilege to witness such beautiful love and union. Seeing Andrew surrender his love to her in such a beautiful way reminded me that true love is worth the wait. Getting that glimpse of it gave me hope.

The day before I left Aruba, I matched a guy on Hinge. He told me he wanted to take me out. Since it was my last night, I said I couldn’t because I wanted to spend it with family. He then said he really wanted to meet me if we could go out for drinks. I said, sure, why not. It was so fast and sudden that the excitement of going on a date never really hit me. Fast forward to the time we were supposed to meet; I got to the bar about 10-15 minutes earlier. I sat outside and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. 30 minutes later I texted him again, saying, “Where are you? Will you be here soon?” I waited some more. He never answered. I had gotten stood up. Never had I ever gotten stood up before :/ I was like, no freaking way!

Was I mad? Not really. I was entertaining myself watching IG reels. One of them was about God hiding us from people who aren’t our person. I was like, “Amen to this!” I got up and went and got myself some ice cream and then headed back to the hotel to meet Ivets and Babs for our last night together.

Do you think that the rejection stopped after that? No. They absolutely didn’t. I got stood up 5 more times by 5 different guys. Back to back to back to back. It was absolutely insane!

I got to Melbourne, and all the dates I had planned just exploded and dropped. The second date got the days mixed up. He didn’t answer me until the following day. The third date, which I was the most excited about, crashed because he didn’t wake up for his alarm (this one I understood more because it happens to all of us). The fourth date was cancelled the day of because he, "out of the blue," had a family event. A potential fifth date was on the books to watch a soccer game, but then he ended up giving the tickets to his brother; we were going to reschedule but never did. 

The first rejection did not hurt at all. The forth however, did. Not because I knew the guy better; I hadn’t. I had only one small convo with him. What hurt the most was the rejection. What hurt the most was feeling like I was a problem. One that no one wanted. What hurt the most was feeling like no one wanted me. The saddest part was that throughout all those no’s, I kept telling myself that I am awesome and that people are truly missing out on one of the funniest people they will ever meet. Now, is this a stretch? Maybe, heheeheheehe. But in all seriousness, I really needed a pick-me-up, and I had to continue to hype myself up.

At the end of the day, what gave me comfort was knowing that I was not alone. God was always there. What I had come to terms with later on was that God was answering a prayer that I prayed almost every night. That prayer was His protection over me. I always find myself praying for God to hide me from people who are not from Him. For Him to hide me from men whose intentions are not pure. From men who want to hurt me or take advantage of me.

After I got back from my trip, my friends had asked me about this “unfortunate” set of events. As I told them every story, I laughed.  I laughed because how could I not? It truly was funny. They made me feel better by saying, “Those guys are weird, they suck, they missed out.” All the jokes truly did make me feel a little better.

Once again, I erased Hinge. I realized that the hook of potentially meeting someone decent after hours of swiping did not sound enticing anymore. I realized that I had a better chance of meeting new people in person. Anywhere I went in Melbourne, I met people. Whether it was shooting pool, sitting at a bar, or in a museum, I noticed that conversations would just happen. I didn’t have to force it. I didn’t have to plan it. They just happened.

I can say I am excited and looking forward to meeting new people the old way. In person.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this entry. If you have any questions or would like to talk, please hit the chat.

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 Stay tuned for my next blog - > She Said YES!!!

XOXO Yerika